Monday Mayday

Don't know why, but I still get surprised at how many departments can be involved in something for no apparent reason. This call came in as a dead rabbit pickup up. Before I was called, the Police, Home Owners Association President, Fire department and my boss we all called to figure out what to do. Obviously this rabbit had been in the front yard for a long time before anybody decided to call in the first place. I was also asked to put a rush on this even though I had live animals in need of service waiting on me.

Maybe not fun to have in your yard, but seriously folks, your kitchen table looks worse after your family eats a bucket of KFC.

Party Planning

Lately I have been noticing my boss's ideas seem to be comming from Michael Scott. Today, after working in the rain and covered in mud I came in to the office to find this email.
" I need a volunteer for the Halloween Committee Party If I do not get a volunteer I will draw a name". Keep in mind the office dresses up but not a good idea for field officers responding to emergency calls.I want to respond with this video, but utube is blocked at work.

Never Know What People Will Say To Me

Me: Your dog is getting loose.
Her: But Officer, there is no way it is mine. My dog can't get out of the yard.
I stood and looked at her and all I could think was, man, I wish I had a taser.

Pam is safe from Zombies

Looking at this advertisement from PETA(People eating tasty Animals), it appears they are saying Pam does not have what Zombies like to eat.

If your going to be dumb...

News after my fall

As the days go by I am feeling a lot better. Now wounded pride is setting in. They say laughter is the best medicine and this video helps me see I am not alone. So this weeks idiot award I give to myself.

On a side note I was catching up on my email today and came across this news story. I guess stairs are out to get ACO's. I truly hope he is OK and I am only making fun of myself.

Animal control officer critically hurt at home

Stafford officer in critical condition after fall at his home

Date published: 6/22/2010

BY KEITH EPPS

A veteran Stafford animal control officer was critically injured Sunday when he fell down some steps at his home, police said.

Dennis R. Ottley, 59, was in intensive care last night at Mary Washington Hospital, Sheriff's Maj. David Decatur said. He was in critical condition.

"We're keeping the Ottleys in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time and we hope everyone else will do the same," Decatur said.

Animal control is under Sheriff Charles Jett, and Ottley is also a sworn deputy.

He has worked for Stafford animal control since November 1990.

Decatur said Ottley's wife called 911 from their home on Leeland Road in southern Stafford at 8:33 p.m. Sunday after hearing a noise.

She found her husband at the bottom of the steps in the basement, unconscious and unresponsive.

Rescue workers rushed him to the hospital.

The animal control division is headed by chief animal control officer Michael Null Jr. and has six officers.

Decatur said it became part of the Sheriff's Office in 1991.

You can't make this stuff up

"A Balinese teenager caught in the act of intercourse with a cow passed out on Friday when he was forced to marry the animal in a ceremony witnessed by hundreds of curious onlookers.

As the Jakarta Globe reported earlier in the day, Ngurah Alit, 18, an unemployed youth from the seaside village of Yeh Embang in Jembrana, was caught stark naked positioned behind the cow in a rice paddy field.

In his defence, Alit admitted to the act of bestiality but claimed the cow, which he believed was a young and beautiful woman, had wooed him with flattering compliments.

As part of a Pecaruan ritual, a ceremony to cleanse the village of the unholy act of a man mating with a cow, Alit was forced to “marry” the animal.

Alit, however, according to Detik.com, passed out surrounded by locals and police, who were attempting to prevent a number of journalists from covering the spectacle.

It is unclear whether or not he got to say “I do.”

Alit’s collapse prompted his mother to begin screaming hysterically, while other family members shouted at photographers not to take pictures.

“Poor kid. He’s actually a quiet kid,” said one villager.

As part of the ceremony, Alit’s victim and new bride was drowned in ocean.

Alit, on the other hand, was symbolically drowned and bathed on the beach.

“Only his clothes were thrown into the sea,” the villager said.

Village chief Ida Bagus Legawa declared that the village had been “cleansed” from the “defilement from the incident.”

Summer = Crazy People

As the temperatures go up here in Texas, so do the number I crazy people I deal with at work. Found this and it made me laugh so I thought I would pass it along.


How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice!

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write “For Marijuana.”

6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk.

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.

9. Sing Along At The Opera.

10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go..’

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity


14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

http://callhart.com/crazy/2010/02/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-level-of-insanity-revisited/#ixzz0qmLPjIS9

Eyewitness

You can find all types of research and opinions about eyewitness reports online.You can read up on the subject and create a dissertation . I will save you some time and trouble.

I spoke with a lady who still believes this is an injured dog laying on the side of the road that was hit by a car. She saw it at the location and it is a dog to her. Besides from what she says she sees, she did not appear to be under the influence of any type of substance.

Who would dumb a puppy?

Found this girl today like this tied to a fence. She was left on someone elses fence. Where she is at, is not the owner of the dog. Basicaly, someone decided since this house had other dogs in the backyard they would adopt the dog. Whoever you are who did this, you are an Idiot!

Low-Life

"Thoses who Fight monsters should take care that in the process they do not become monsters. When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes into you" Nietzsche.

This is a man who was paid to protect against and investigate Animal Cruelty.

So my first idiot award of 2010 goes to EX Animal Control Officer Alonzo Esco of Mississippi. It was discovered in January he would pick up stray dogs and, instead of going to the shelter, he would stop at a creek, shoot and then dump the dogs. Some of the stories have stated he confessed he "was too lazy to drive them to the shelter".

The police have discovered hundreds of Dogs shoot and dumped in the creek. He has been charged with multiple Misdemeanor charges.

This dirt bag not only killed owned dogs but made all of Animal Control look like idiots.

New Idiot Award

Recently I have been trying to keep away from work related posts and just have fun with the blog. The reason is I have been trying to detach from work and do and think about other things. However, after closing this case out and two weeks have gone by I have to share it.

Dog owner "I don't know whats wrong with my dog"
Me- "Try feeding him some time you stupid f%#@K!"

I am happy to report after daily food and water the dog is doing much better.

A call I don't want to get

I get to experience all kinds of stories involving animals. I never want to run this call.This has got to be one of the oddest Animal Stories I have heard in a long time.

Budget Cuts

I am probably late on seeing this but wanted to post it for my own amusement. Just reminds me of things to come of here on the job. I always hear of great plans for equipment to come but instead I get sent to calls such as loose bobcats or a man in the street beating a dog with a wire with nothing more than basically a stick .

Priorities

For all of you who keep calling me to help you because you feel I need to remove all the birds from the city, I have one last tip I found online to help you out.

And this helps animals how?

I learned quickly in my line of work to stay away from over the top animal rights groups.

Why you ask? Basically because at this point in life I have not lost my mind completely.

Dear PETA, Please explain how this advertisement helps anything. Disregard that because I think if I open myself up to read your answer it will kill to many brain cells. I never thought you would top the stupidity of the milk gone wild protest, but congratulations you have done it. Way to go!

P.S. Pam you look fantastic as always but run away, run away, from this !!!!!!!!

Shoes

Every year at this time the department gets us new shoes. They are over priced, wear fast, and completely uncomfortable. My partner found shoes for the job that work better for about 1/4 of the price. Even with the large amount of money saved we still have to buy them from the allocated company only. Basically I paid with tax dollar money $230 for 2 pair of shoes. He paid $39. Our tax dollars at work.
And now for something completely different...

The Greatest of Watermelons

Seriously, I could not make this up if I tried. In my job, I deal with the public and have learned to build up some immunity to stupid people. I was not prepared for this one.

I get off early on Wednesday and usually try to go to the grocery store. Yesterday was no exception, but it turned into an odd experience.

I was in the frozen food area deciding if I really needed to get some more Blue Bell Ice Cream, standing away from my cart. The cart was off to the side as to not block the center. A man walked by and walked straight into the cart. He turned and looked at me and gave me the evil eye. Then he just stood staring at me. I know I must have had the most puzzled look on my face and then he walked away.

I proceeded to shop when I noticed him following me around. I stopped this time and asked him if I could help him with something. Again, he just stared at me. This time I waited for him to walk away. As I continued to shop I would notice him around every few minutes and finally I looked at him and could not help but start laughing. This time he huffed at me and walked away.

When I got out to the parking lot, he was loading his groceries two cars away from mine. This was not a kid but a man around 40 and should be somewhat mature but not this guy. Now I am really starting to get concerned. Although it is legal to carry a concealed gun with a license in Texas, I do not carry. Just for the record, I am not anti gun and the issue of why can be another blog sometime for me.

The male ego in me really wanted to get into with him, however I showed restraint. I did not walk to my car but acted like I was on the phone. What is even worse about this is my phone broke so I have my sim card in my sister in-law’s old phone until I go get a new one. The phone is pink. So now, I am in the middle of the parking lot pretending to talk on a hot pink phone with some crazy person watching me.

I watched him closely because I wondered if he would pull a weapon from the car or try to run me over. As I was watching him, he looked up, got in his car, floored the gas and screeched his tires as he left the parking lot away from me.

Confused, I started walking to my truck when I noticed something. In his cart left behind was a Thumping Good Seedless Watermelon he forgot to put in his car. Again, I could not help but laugh.

The sweetest watermelon I have ever eaten.

I hate the Eagles!!

I have been a Dallas Cowboy fan all my life, so it is natural for me not to like the Philadelphia Eagles. Now the Eagles have given me $1.6 million reasons to hate them.

Woman tapes dog to Fridge

Serouisly, I am going to make this blog have more than just animal related issues, however Abby Toll gets an Idiot Award from yours truely. Below is the news story.

BOULDER, Colo. -- Boulder police are investigating a domestic spat that they say escalated into animal cruelty when a woman wrapped her boyfriend's dog in packing tape then stuck it on the side of the refrigerator.
Officers responded to an apartment on the 2900 block of Aurora Avenue early Tuesday, after getting a call about a disturbance in progress.
They found several items strewn about the apartment and cola stains on the floor and on the wall.
According to the police report, the tenant, Bryan Beck, told officers that he and his girlfriend, Abby Toll, began arguing after they returned to his apartment and found that his dog had defecated on the carpet.
While Beck was telling officers what happened, there was a rustling sound in the kitchen.
That's when officers noticed a big ball of tape stuck on the side of the refrigerator.
"The ball of tape appeared to be moving," said Sarah Huntley of the Boulder Police department. "The officer asked the individuals what it was and the female replied it was a dog."
Police said the dog, an 8-month-old Shiba Inu named Rex, was taped to the fridge upside down and was struggling to free itself. When they asked how long it had been there, Toll said about 20 or 30 minutes.
Investigators said the couple had been at odds over Rex after he had bitten Toll the week before.
"She wanted him to get rid of the dog, he didn't want to," Huntley said.
According to the report, Toll was trying to tend to a wound on the dog when it bared its teeth and growled at her. She became scared and then upset. She wanted to get back at Beck and teach the dog a lesson, so she bound its snout and legs with elastic hair bands and taped it to the fridge.
The report goes on to say that when Beck saw the dog he said, "Take him down, you are so sick." Toll became angry and said, "No, you are sick for not caring enough about me to get rid of the dog.”
That's when Toll decided to go back to her apartment. The report said Beck blocked her way. She reached for her cell phone and Beck grabbed it from her. She began throwing things at him, then grabbed her Chihuahua named Peanut and headed for the door.
That’s about the time that police arrived.
Huntley told 7NEWS that when the officer tried to remove the tape and elastic bands from Rex, he yelped in pain.
Both he and Peanut were taken to the Human Society.
"I'm absolutely sickened," said Lisa Pedersen, chief executive officer of the Humane Society of Boulder Valley. "No matter what was going on with these animals, they did not deserve this treatment."
Pedersen said that Rex and Peanut are stressed out but are doing OK physically.
The incident is the talk of the town.
"For them not to be able to settle their differences in an adult way is just unbelievable," said Cathy Greenwald. "They don't deserve a dog."
Beck and Toll were both arrested on charges of domestic violence.
Toll is also facing a possible cruelty to animal charge and possession of a controlled substance. Police said that while Toll was being processed into the jail, deputies noticed a tinfoil container with a black substance inside. When they asked her what it was, she allegedly told them it was opiates.
By Lance Hernandez, 7NEWS Reporter

The first award goes to...

Stress relief?
It was recommended to me to take long walks with my dog after an intense day at work. On most days this works out great but not lately. For the past few weeks I have watched a man on a motorcycle in a field run his dog back and fourth about 100 yards away from the motorcycle. On two occasions I have seen the dog run in to on coming traffic and narrowly escape a crushing death. Last night was the third occasion and it did not escape.
The dog ran into traffic and was struck by a car. The driver stopped to help and I ran up to the dog. The owner came outside and starting yelling at the man who hit his dog. I tried numerous times to get the man to get the dog to an emergency vet but he wanted to argue with the driver. At one point I realized the dog had passed on. I tried to explain this to the man but he suddenly became concerned over my credentials. I explained what I did for a living, showed him the dog’s heart had stopped, showed him the blood out of the dogs mouth and some other details that I will not describe. He then began yelling that know one would help him. Again the driver, myself and other people in the area tried to get him to understand what was going on. Two of us offered to take him to the vet. By this time the dog was 100% deceased.

Bottom line, if the man had walked his dog on a leash and not allowed him to run in traffic this dog would still be alive. Accidents happen, but this dog was always destined to get hit because the owner let the dog run in the street all the time. Therefore, I grant him the first “Idiot Award” of this blog.